Well I know you've all been complaining away e.g. "Why hasn't the site been updated"... "where's the new fixture list ?"... "why are you always drunk?" moan, groan, grumble... Well it's not easy being a Jolly Boy, "webmeister" and full time alcoholic you know... But I'll make no excuses. In the wise words of some old goat I'm simply "too fat to live, too old to die" but I have really been too busy to get round to it (yes, yes I've been mostly in the pub or playing cricket).
But, a frenzied spot of tryping later, here we are again with the new seasons fixture lists. And the more awake and astute of you may well have noticed something different this year. Yes indeedly, not content with being drubbed every thursday, we're now up for a weekend kicking too and are taking part in two leagues. TWO leagues I say. By the end of the season we'll either be fit as fiddles and not totally crap or (more likely) we'll be utterly knackered and in need of artificial hips and new lungs !
So as is now traditional then, where available, you can see match reports by clicking on a highlighted date or game scorecards by clicking on a result (n.b. not all matches have been/will be chronicled due to a "winning" combination of strong drink, idiocy & midges)
|21/04/2005||Away||Land Registry||Lost||Well the thursday Jollys are having none of this rain stopped play malarky and get off the mark with a traditional opening loss.|
|27/04/2005||Away||South Shore Shovellers||Lost||Well the game wasn't up to much but the last few minustes were definitely exciting ! Mainly due to a gaggle of strippers turning up and flouncing their way into the bar - only to reappear two minutes later when they realised they were at the wrong venue. And here were the Jollys thinking our time had come at last !|
|12/05/2005||Away||Nights Of Bachus||WON||Blow me down with a wet sponge... We're only three games in and we've registered our first win ! A parsimonious performance by both sides saw a mere 3 wickets fall in both innings with the Nights batting first and reaching 122 for 1. By some miracle the Jollies then managed to beat this total with several balls left to play and after only losing two wickets.|
|19/05/2005||Home||Kirkham Swifts||WON||Just what is happening ? Yet again the Jolly Boys are triumphant in a close fought low scoring, midge infested, classic at fortress Hodgson. We've now won 2, lost 2 in the thursday league with our best ever start to the season. At this rate there's a small chance of us not coming bottom this year !|
|26/05/2005||Away||The Dunes||Lost||All good thngs must come to an end and our unprecedented 5 match winning streak ends with a bit of a whimper. Batting first we post a miserable total and the Dunes come out worthy winners. So it's a return to business as usual for the "Masters Of Disaster" (tm).|
|02/06/2005||Home||Layton Institute||Drew||And the wonderful vagaries of the British summer once again contrive to present the Jollys with a draw. Drip, drip drop little June showers...|
|09/06/2005||Away||Nights Of Bacchus (Cup)||Lost||Another understrength turn out sees the Jollys lose to the Nights. But still it was a lovely evening and we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves so it wasn't all bad !|
|15/06/2005||Away||Warbreck Hill||WON||And what an excellent day it was... Not only did we play well for a deserved Win but Sal arrived with a most welcome, and totally unexpected, buffet ! Fantastic !!!|
|23/06/2005||Home||Land Registry||Lost||Unfortunately we were unable to get a home ground this week so Land Registry kindly allowed us to play the fixture at their place. They also kindly loaned us one of their players as, once again, seasonal commitments saw us field an understrength team. Finally they then not so kindly beat us. Botheration...|
|30/06/2005||Home||South Shore Shovellers||Lost||Sadly a complete lack of available players meant we had to concede the match. When will people learn to put the needs of the Jollys before their illness and work commitments ? I don't know you'd think people had lives to lead outsode of cricket...|
|14/07/2005||Away||Nights Of Bachus||WON||Well sadly the Nights folded so we get a win by default. Now this is a shame as we always liked playing the Nights - especially since they changed their home ground to Guys Court which has a large bar :) They shall be missed...|
|21/07/2005||Away||Kirkham Swifts||WON||Wowsa ! Another win comes complete with a thrilling last over which saw two wickets and two run outs in the last over alone ! It was so exciting we even made the paper.|
|04/08/2005||Away||Layton Institute||Drew||Sadly I wasn't at the game as I was laid low with a spot of lurgy but despite the match getting underway it was all for nought as once again rain stopped play.|
|18/08/2005||Home||Warbreck Hill||WON||Well what can we say ? Another splendid win for the jollys sees us do the double over Warbreck Hill - and for once we held most of our catches (with just two chances dropped)|
|25/08/2005||Home||The Dunes||WON||Well I'm afraid that work commitments meant I was away for the week so I'm not sure what happened. But if a drunken conversation in the pub is correct then the Dunes called it off again and we receive a default win.
If this is confirmed this will mean we've won more than we've lost this year - making it our most successful season ever !!!
|16/04/2005||Away||Wyre||Drew||And they're off. Another great start to the season as rain stops play...|
|23/04/2005||Home||Comrades||Drew||Yup 'twas another good day for ducks. And for once I'm not talking about our batting. Another downpour prevented play.|
|30/04/2005||Away||Anchorsholme||Lost||Oh dearie dearie me. Not only did we lose but there were complaints about my playing in long johns. After three solid years of nothing but ridicule an official complaint is lodged. Some people really do have nothing better to think about.|
|07/05/2005||Away||Fleetwood IV||WON||Egad ! The first win of the season and we're only 4 games in. On a seriously wind swept day the Jollies manage to pull off a remarkable victory in the last over of the day with Tan taking a splendid left handed catch to get Fleetwood all out. Remarkable ! Outstanding ! The celebratory hangovers last until wednesday :)|
|14/05/2005||Home||St. Annes IV||WON||Well a lovely sunny day sees the Jollys play at Stanley Park and come up with a win. Although it has to be said we didn't actually win but, due to the Byzantine complexities of the Saturday league, this was technically a winning draw (yes you did read that right - ed.) What this means is that we got more runs, in more overs, than the opposition but as we didn't get them all out it's technically a draw. But as we got more runs we also won. Or something like that anyway.
Please don't ask me to explain this any further as it's making my head roll round and my teeth ache... It's just the way the saturday league works. And yet there are people who think me playing in Long Johns is ridiculous ? Good grief...
|15/05/2005||Away||Comrades (Cup)||WON||CUP FEVER !!! Two wins in two days for a now rampaging Jolly Boys. Not even staying up 'til 7:00 a.m. in the morning drinking could dampen our teams exuberance as we positively romp home for a famous (more like fatuos - ed.) win.|
|21/05/2005||Away||Preston III||n/a||Good grief ! Just because there's an F.A. cup final on is no reason for gentlemen cricketers to be unavailable to play. Sadly, due to the number of players wishing to watch the footballing riff raff disgrace themselves, the captains agree to postpone the game until later in the season.
Honestly watching "professional" (sic) footballers kick and scream at each other is worse than watching toddlers fight in a nursery. Overpaid, overacting poofs the lot of 'em. Rugby league style refereeing's what them primma donnas want. Petulant twits one and all.
If you want me I'll be in the back bar playing the pinball machine.
|28/05/2005||Home||Blackpool IV||WON||Well after the usual poor start it looked like the Jollys were going to suffer a collapse. However a fantastic 100 for Ian (Newman), ably supported by a heroic Baz (who used his supporting role to amass a career best 23) eventually saw us post a useful total. A spot of intense pressure later and we'd skittled out Blackpool IVths for another memorable victory.|
|29/05/2005||Away||St. Josephs (Cup)||Lost||Botheration. The cup run comes to a grinding halt with a loss. And once again we have only ourselves to blame as we allowed St. Josephs to bowl us out before we'd completed our overs leaving them with a total of 102 to beat.
Our only real consolation was that, despite some big hitting from their batsmen, we did force them down to their last couple of overs. So it's back to the nets for the Jollys batsmen.
|11/06/2005||Home||Fleetwood IV||Drew||Ho hum another game lost due to the pitch being waterlogged. Or has it been postponed ? Sadly I can't remember so I'll update you when I find out (You blithering idiot ! - ed.)|
|18/06/2005||Away||St. Josephs||Drew||Well the match did start and, having elected to bat, we once again fell apart against St. Jospehs (for some reason we always bat poorly against them) But two summer downpours in quick succession saw the match abandoned and we scraped home with a somewhat undeserved draw.|
|02/07/2005||Home||Preston III||Lost||What a sad day as the Jollys boys play their last game in this seasons Saturday league. Lack of players willing to turn up meant it was not possible to keep going with just the regular 7 (who turned up week in, week out) so we finish with a bit of a whimper with a good stuffing by Preston III. Ho hum...|
|09/07/2005||Home||Preston IV||Lost||Match conceeded.|
|06/08/2005||Away||Preston IV||Lost||Match conceeded.|
|21/08/2005||Away||St. Annes IV||Lost||Match conceeded.|
|18/09/2005||Away||Blackpool IV||Lost||Match conceeded.|
But as we're now in a bigger boys league then, for the benefit of new readers, I'd best try to explain the the format of the Saturday games. Sitting comfortably ? then I'll begin by quoting from the handbook...
Following this so far ? Excellent then I'll explain the exceptions.
|Position||Team||Played||Won||Lost||No Result||Drew||Batting Points||Bowling Points||Points|
|1||South Shore Shovellers||14||12||1||1||0||13||7||70|
|6||William Stuart Kitchens||14||3||9||2||0||7||6||29|
|8||Knights Of Bacchus||14||0||13||1||0||6||0||8|
Batting: Chris Burns (South Shore Shovellers)
Bowling: A Pickup (The Dunes)
|Position||Batsman||Innings||Not Out||Runs||Average||High Score|
|1||C. Burns (South Shore Shovellers)||7||5||216||108.00||52|
|2||D. Tucker (Land Registry)||11||4||472||67.42||80|
|3||I. Newman (Jolly Boys)||8||4||246||61.50||50*|
|4||N. Bradley (Land Registry)||9||2||428||61.14||73|
|5||M. Downing (South Shore Shovellers)||7||3||197||49.25||61|
* indicates the batsman was not out
|1||A. Pickup (The Dunes)||23||101||11||9.18||3-12|
|2||M. Clinning (The Dunes)||22||126||11||11.45||3-7|
|3||A. Harrison (Land Registry)||38||296||20||14.80||6-8|
|4||D. Tucker (Land Registry)||39||223||20||14.86||3-18|
|5||P. Noon (South Shore Shovellers)||29||181||11||16.45||3-13|